The Damage Control Master Formula Office of Doom

I’m blogging from work right now. I’ve been websurfing in between assignments and I found several interesting health blogs and how to guides about general fitness and exercise.  The two best I’ve stumbled across so far are both vitamin blogs. One is about the best multivitamins on the market, and the other is a sort of send up of the vitamin shop.

Anyway, I saw this viral video for a medicine claiming to cure “restless leg syndrome.” I thought the commercial was a parody, but it’s not?! Knowing the commercial and product were real made me laugh even harder. I started to make a list of more possible syndromes this pharmaceutical company could cure:

1. Uglinox, for Ugly Face syndrome: It doesn’t make your face prettier, it just makes you care less about the people who think it’s ugly.

2. Definol, for Screaming Baby Syndrome: Medication temporarily induces deafness on an airplane for people with severe allergies to screaming babies.

3. Fuxit, for overachieving syndrome: Makes you stop caring.

And most importantly…

4. Metapil, to be taken in order to more easily swallow pharmaceutical industry lies.

I can’t wait to fill my prescription.

I’m an executive assistant. Doesn’t that sound fancy? I’m a secretary, but I’m a secretary for a whole office which means there’s three men and two women who can directly assign me work, and at the same time there’s zero men and zero women who can enforce said work, because it’s up to me to deligate assignments to the rest of the office.

 

Anyway, I set at a desk all day, and I know this isn’t good for the shape of my buns. I’m not a spring chicken, but I’m no dead fish either, and I’m still trying to keep my buns in the habit of being noticed. So, I’ve decided to adjust what I do at the office. I’m changing the way I work. I’m adding little routines and exercises to my day and I’m taking short breaks to do some basic stretching over the period of the day. I don’t have a solid plan yet, but as I figure this “Office Aerobics” thing out, I’ll keep you updated on what’s working and what’s not. I hope this is helpful!

 

Oh, and sorry about the weird blog title. It’s an office in joke (I lost a bet with the other secretary).

 

 -Amelia